Well, I think I am done with this. I am tired of feeling like a failure in the mom department and then feeling like a failure in the spouse department, then feeling like a failure of a human being. I am tired of not being able to stop crying right now. I am tired of trying to be good and failing so miserably at it that I decide to take others down with me.
I am angry that NO ONE listened to me. I am angry that I did NOT LISTEN to myself. And where are we now? Trying to raise a kid that hurts my husband’s feelings on a near daily basis. Then the husband is a shit and big fat baby. Then I get bitchy. We should have NEVER, NEVER adopted until we had a plan for all the bad stuff. And I was accused of being the wet blanket because I wanted to know what are we going to do when A happens, what are we going to do when B happens? And now…what are we going to do? Because I am about ready to quite.
I cannot decide which makes me angrier? That I caved or that I believed the people that said we could do this thing and how great we would be for this kid and instead I think we are screwing his head up even more and I think it will get worse because I do not want to do it any more.
